


Arlise'sul'avelan

by witchoflife



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Animal Death, Death, Dragons, F/M, Fake survival, M/M, MGiT, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, PoC character, Slow Burn, due to hunting, dumb ass bullshit, honestly i googled most things, not even in the inquisition story line, still looking for beta, that wiin't take too long though, typical sad baclstory bs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-02-16 13:10:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchoflife/pseuds/witchoflife
Summary: Unconventional Modern girl in Thedas fic.Our hero wakes up in the Hinterlands. She quickly realizes she is unlike anyone else ever encountered in this world or her own. She wakes up 12 years before the events of DA:I and must learn to use her new body and old skills together to survive. If she's a Mary-Sue I won't apologize for it. I love her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WHADDUP!!! My name's Raina and I'm about to write some good stuff. This is my first fic on here. There will be romance, There will be death, there will be awkward flirting. Please critique me fairly as I haven't written online since I was 14.

When I awaken I feel.. Damp. That was odd. Did I perhaps spill my water bottle while I was sleeping, or while icing an ache did I forget to throw the ice bag off my bed. I did that quite frequently that waking up in a damp patch was not unlikely or weird. Just annoying. I shift around and yet I’m still soggy, with a groan I sit up and open my eyes blearily blinking away the sleep in my eyes. It’s very bright and takes my eyes some time to adjust before I realize, not only am I not in my bed, I’m not in a house at all! I was outside in the snowy woods, how the fuck? Before this, I had been in my house with my family in suburban Alberta in July! It’s impossible for me to even be here. 

Did my friends plan this, is this some elaborate prank? Fuck. Snow is not unlikely in July in Alberta but it’s seldom probable and it was definitely never cold enough for the snow to get this deep. I’ve never seen snow this deep in Alberta anyway, it’s to my knees and I’m not short! I’m nearly 6ft tall! I must be dreaming, I look around and force myself to my feet. 

I’m bloody fucking naked… And holy mother of Christ. There are scales all over my knees… And my elbows! I run my fingers along them and try to dig my nails underneath them to dig them out. They’re not glued on and the act of tugging at them makes my skin hurt, I feel as though I'm pulling at callouses. They’re beautiful, similar to the Hivernal dragon from Dragon Age! Okay, okay this is a dream definitely. I run my hand through my hair and it’s just as short and curly as it should be, I was growing it out back in the waking world but it used- Why the fuck am I not freezing!? It’s snowy and I’m not wearing anything. It’s not even affecting me, I feel average. I guess because it’s a dream my body wouldn’t respond the way it’s supposed to… But what about the pain I was feeling when I pulled at my scales, can you even feel pain when you dream? I’ll have to google it. 

I shake my head and look around I need to find something to cover myself, although because this is a dream it shouldn’t matter as much, I hate my body and it’s still there even if it’s a dream. If only I could’ve dreamed myself skinny!

These woods don’t really look like any I’ve ever been to in the waking world, I wonder if they’re an amalgamation of woods I’ve seen combined with stuff from video games. I see a statue of a wolf peeking out from some brambles, reminds me of Dragon Age, I had been reading about it quite a bit lately. I crouch and pull the brush away, the statue is about to my waist and has swirly, mossy engravings in it. I press a kiss to the statue and continue on my way.

As I pad through the snow, my feet sinking into the snow, melting it from the sheer warmth I radiate, I leave little holes of the forest floor in my wake as I trek through the wintery woods. The dark bark has faces of lichen growing on them, I run my fingers along the rough surface as I walk deeper into the woods.

These woods are quite beautiful, the winter birds chirp and, my ears are so surprisingly sensitive I can hear the woodland creatures skittering about. I see a fox and gasp as it chases a, very bald rabbit… That’s a nug! They run right by me as if it doesn’t bother them at all that I’m there as if I’m another creature of the forest. This dream is so… Realistic, usually my dreams bounce all over the place and stick to current events, very rarely do I dream of fandoms and when I do it’s typically for mere moments before I bounce somewhere else. Maybe this isn’t a dream the traitorous voice whispers in my head. I roll my eyes chastising myself for such silly thoughts.

As I’m roaming I hear a snap of twigs, my head whips around and my body seems to pause on instinct, I go completely still and watch as a deer -or… Halla, my brain supplies- picks it’s way through the underbrush, stepping slowly and deliberately, it seems to not have noticed me yet. I crouch down among the twigs, my scales that dust my body and the soft beige of my skin blends in with the surroundings. Something… Primal clicks in me and the part of me that makes me, me slides away for just a moment. Suddenly I am prowling, sliding towards the cautious animal and in a blur, I am pouncing, not where the Halla is but where it will be. I bite it’s neck savagely and I realize my teeth are sharp and jagged much like the dragon that I share scales with, it’s difficult to hold on but I manage a fine enough grip, my nails are sharper than usual and I feel as though I'm a raptor, downing my prey.

I come back to myself, covered in blood and in front of the carcass, the pelt is relatively clean. I won’t be able to preserve it as I normally would when I went hunting with my Grandfather but I could indeed use it for now until the furs petrified or I found some salt. Although I guess I don’t really need to worry about that because I’m dreaming but I will clean it so it doesn’t smell bad.

I spend hours cleaning the deer carcass before I decide to eat. To my disgust, the new primal side of me screams at me to just… Bite the damn thing. I don’t even build a fire I just tear into it and devour the raw flesh. Logically it’s gross but my hindbrain doesn’t care and to be honest, the blood tastes good. After cleaning the pelt I hang it over a low hanging branch on a nearby tree. 

I feast until I can no longer, leaving very little behind. The deer sustain me for the day and the primal urges hide underneath my typical mind and I leave the bones for the birds.

\------

Time starts to move forward and I begin to think I am not dreaming. Which causes me to panic. I spend weeks in these woods, wrapped in the Halla pelt as I wander, killing various creatures when hungry. I have yet to find civilization but to be quite honest I’m a bit afraid to. If I meet people, they will either react in an illogical way and I’ll know I’m dreaming or they’ll be terrified and kill me. And sure maybe a week or two ago I would’ve gladly accepted that chance, but there’s too much doubt in my mind that this is real and I’m dreaming. 

I sleep buried in the snow, the pelt keeps my natural body heat from melting the snow but also keeps me somewhat dry. Regardless I’ve gotten used to waking up soggy. I’ve been practicing my apocalypse prepping skills. I tracked down a fresh spring that had a salt deposit near it, it was difficult to procure but it made my tanning much more effective, it’d preserve the skin and make it last longer. I had to kill another Halla for this but honestly, it was worth it. I stay near the spring because it keeps me hydrated and animals are attracted to it.

When I do leave the spring area, it's to wander or it's to bathe or use the bathroom, I miss toilet paper a lot. You don't wanna know what I do instead. I don't shit where I eat and especially where I drink. I may look like a beast but I certainly don't act like one.

\---------------------------------

I replay vines in my mind when I’m bored, or feeling lonely. I never had many friends, to begin with so memes were my only friends. I would watch vine compilations when I was feeling down, now I have them committed to memory. I'm 35 and I still watch Vine's, although when Vine died I did too... I can't believe that's another thing I won't have anymore if this truly isn't a dream. Chocolate, Pizza... Earth herbs... VIETNAMESE FOOD! Oh lord what will I do? 

\---------------------------------------------------

I believe I’ve somehow been transported to Thedas. I can no longer believe this is a dream. I’ve spent far too long here and it’s far too detailed to be a dream. I’m not even upset anymore I’m just resigned to it. But now I guess I need to do something about it right? Do what all those people from fanfiction do. The rift isn’t here yet so I can’t help with that and I don’t want to be anywhere near Kirkwall with my freaky scales. I also learned that I look like an elf, after peering into a pond that was frozen over like a mirror. My face is just as round and soft like the rest of my disgusting fucking body but now I also have long pointed ears that are covered with freckly scales much like my cheeks and my nose. My eyes are large, brown and have a slitted pupil like a predator, my lips are full but my mouth is full of sharp knives. I look like a chubby dragon hybrid. My ears twitch towards every sound and flick with emotion. I spent a lot of time fucking around in front of the pool, snarling and smiling and making silly faces. It was fun. But then I stood and caught a glimpse of my body and I stared for a long time. A tear rolled down my cheek. I rubbed my tears away. I’m too much. Why does it have to be the same? I’m disgusting. My stomach is too big, my thighs too wide. I squeeze the excess flesh and snarl. I’m awful, I can’t even look good in another world! I’m the fattest person in Thedas! I stumble backwards away from the pond and fall over tears rolling faster. I cry harder my body shaking, I feel so stupid, so dumb. A dumb random thing to make me react like this. I scrub at my face and drag the furs around my body to keep myself from seeing my flabby gross body. 

After a moment, I calm down and stand up on shaking limbs and stumble away from the reflective pond. I don’t return to it.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

I’ve started making tools from rocks, (trying to make) thread from plant fibres. God. I hate this, I learned all this bull shit because I had been terrified of the apocalypse. Now I need it because I’ve been thrown into a universe where they don’t have automation anyway! Aside from like… Dwarven mechanics. I’m grateful that I learned this stuff but it’s so dumb that it’s useful now. I growl quietly to myself as I weaved fine thread, it’s nearly impossible my eyes aren’t as good here as they were back home. I traded my vision for impeccable hearing I suppose. I toss the thread into the air and lay in the snow and groan. It’s too hard I can’t do it. I’m just not good enough. My other endeavours aren’t quite as painful, my stone knives are good for skinning, I found a good blunt rock for hammering the salt deposits I live much like an early human did except with less early death… I hope.  
\--------------------------------------------

When I sleep I’ve started to wake up in what I assume is the Fade, I can’t think as to why. I don’t think I have magic, but whatever it’s fun to dream of my old world. Spirits edge around me watching as I create the wonders of my old world, none have approached me. I create my little bungalow from my childhood, sans my mother, I’m sitting with my feet in a brook, the fish nibble at my toes as my dog rests her head in my lap. I play my game boy, Pokemon red. I rub Marley’s head as she quietly sleeps. The forest around me is void of sound it’s uncanny, all I can hear is the brook and my dog huffing and puffing, she was a beautiful boxer mastiff mix, she came with me when I left. She passed away when I turned 20. I miss her but I wouldn’t trade for more time with her. She was there when I needed her, and left when I didn’t. She was wonderful.

I smile softly to myself as the scene shifts and I’m ripping down a road with my best friend, we’re blasting pop music, screaming at the top of our lungs as we speed down back roads like a little orange bullet. The trees whip by us and we drive through a railroad crossing, just before the bar falls, my eyes are round like dinner plates as I stare at her, she grins devilishly. We were both so impulsive, brash. It was great.

The scene shifts again, I’m eating at my favourite restaurant with my best friend. We’re celebrating. I just passed my written exam for becoming an EMT. We’re eating Vietnamese food and I’m crying tears of happiness while I chug watermelon bubble tea. I’m just so happy, and I realize I miss my best friend intensely. Will I ever return home? Will I ever see her again? She was the closest thing I had left of a family after I ran away from home at the age of 15. It’s been twenty years since then and she’s been in my life since the beginning. I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding. I decide to wake up now. I push myself out of the dream, away from my friend. This is the only time I can think of her.

When I awaken my wrists are bound. “I told ya, was no normal beast catchin’ all that game… Bloody fucking demon or summat..” A voice grumbles as I groggily pull myself from sleep, the panic of my bound wrists not quite enough to rouse me.

“Yea, Yea... I fockin’ get it, ya tit… Andraste’s tits don’tcha ever shut ur fockin gob?” A second voice inquires just as rough as the first one, their accents are certainly Fereldan. I snarl loudly, making my consciousness known as I try to wrench myself from my bondage.

“It’s awake, Calder sir… Afton… Fuck, look at those teeth,” A gangly teen says to the leader, a bear of a man with-if he hadn’t captured me- a rather impressive beard. He stares at me with dangerous eyes.

“Wotcher, beast!” The leader, Calder says. I stare at him murderously and he laughs.

“D’be pretty if it weren’t for that maw,” Afton, I assume says to my disgust.  
“Let me go, I apologize for overhunting I’ll go someplace else. No need to do anything stupid..” I say quietly my voice is hoarse from lack of use.

The teen seems startled that I talk, the leader simply laughs a full-bodied laugh his body shaking with apparent mirth. “It can speak lads! It’s got some humanity to it,” Afton stares at me shrewdly. “Ya think maybe it’s a demon? Looks like something that fell from the demon hell… Ya know the shit the Chantry’s always preachin' ‘bout…?”

“Nah, mate… I Any temptation you’re feeling is your own perverse desire!” Calder laughs. 

“I think it’s just an elf, using it’s weird elfy magic… And elves aren’t great for much but you know…” The teen says, face flushing. Calder squints at me and makes a nod of approval. “Could be right lad… Let’s carry it back to town… Let everyone else decide it’s fate…” I thrash violently in their grip trying to escape, Calder boots me hard in the head for my troubles. “Let me go!” I scream, my head throbs and my vision clouds for a minute as I try to squirm away with much less gusto than before. They lift me up and carry me effortlessly to a small little town near the edge of the Hinterlands. I don’t recognize it from the game but this clearly isn’t a video game things will be different. They drag me into town and throw me into a root cellar. Then all I know is darkness...


	2. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey I’m back lads with a spicy chapter I actually finished like 4 months ago oops. Violence and abuse in this chapter be warned.

It is dark in this cellar, my eyes slowly adjust and I notice I am not alone. There are elves in this dank room. They are clearly servants, drab clothes and just from an earlier comment on what elves are good for is enough evidence. They must have been sleeping and were roused by the commotion of me being tossed down the stairs and locked in among them. 

“That fucking hurt, bastards…” I mumbled to myself, one of the elves in his bed stood, they’re all staring now. “Do one of y’all think perchance you could untie me? Unless you think it will get you in trouble then don’t bother. I’m not here for that.” 

“Who are you?” He asks, I can’t see any colour but he’s got large eyes and short cropped hair, all elfy and such, he approaches slowly. I force myself to sit up, my abs screaming from the strain of using only them to sit up. He seems older than the rest, maybe he acts as the keeper?

“Uh… Call me Hale’amalen…” I say, somewhat sheepish, it’s the only elven type name I can think of, it’s what I named my inquisitor and it… Basically means… Fox protector… Yea I know that shit is dumb as hell, but I meant more so in that like, Foxes are sly and clever so like sly… Protector. “Or just Hale since it’s kind of a mouthful…” 

“Dhavihal. Why are you here? Tied up?” He unties my wrists and feet and I rub gently at the skin, it’s a bit raw but mostly the circulation had been cut off. “I’m the beast.” I replied candidly, “You know the one that has been hunting all the game? Although I feel as though it’s a bit silly, I couldn’t have possibly been eating that much…” I pout, as another elf stands, she’s quite pretty her frail form and long dark hair, she stalks towards me. “You’re the one that has been killing the halla? Impossible” she scoffs “I’ve seen the teeth marks on those bones! It’s similar to that of a wolves!”

“I know it’s rather dark in here but you have night vision no?” I grin and gnash my teeth, even in the dark, the elves can see my sharp fangs. The apparent hunter jumped back her ears flicking back. “What the fuck, fenedhis!”

“Dhavihal, she must be a demon, or… Or something sent by Fen’Harel!” One of the elves cry. The hunter pulls a dagger from her stocking and approaches me. I push myself backwards, eyes wide. “Woah, Woah wait up a minute! I’m not a demon or spirit or anything! I swear! I don’t know what I am!”

Dhavihal watches me the whole time and raises his hand signalling for the huntress to cease her antagonistic behaviour. “That is enough Atisha, she is trapped here much like we are, although we are “paid” she is now part of our plight.” The elven man was clearly some kind of leader, probably this little groups leader, this must be like an alienage in a bigger town. It’s odd having a stranger stick up for me, it’s not often I have people on my side. Aside from Katie. But she’s not here, she never will be and I’m from an entirely different world being threatened by some elven huntress. She bristles but backs down, eyes still hard as she stares at me. “We have no idea where she comes from, what she is! She just admitted to being the beast killing our game!”

“Atisha, she hasn’t been killing us.” The elder says, voice quiet, warbly. I nod enthusiastically “I’ve never hurt a person… I only kill animals when I’m hungry.” I try and defend myself, I need to show that I am not a threat and I can’t simply rely on a man who doesn’t even know me. “How can we believe the word of a beast! I’ve seen those carcasses they’re stripped bare! A halla that would last us weeks picked clean and the blood still fresh…”

Dhavihal raises a hand and sighs. “Enough. You do not need to trust her but there is no need for persecution either.” Atisha’s face crumples like she wants to say something but can’t get the words out. She growls and walks away sitting on her bed. My eyes finally have adjusted enough that I can see more than just the reflection of at least a dozen elven eyes watching me from the darkness and I can make out the room a bit. It’s quite big, enough to house a dozen of us comfortably which is genuinely surprising. It kind of looks what’d you’d expect a bunker or something to look like if it was created in the dark ages. I could feel the heat wafting off me in waves. It must be cold in here. I frowned, there was no fire to speak of or even a wood stove, the elves seemed to all congregate together to share warmth. I felt a pang in my chest.

“Hale, how did you end up captured by these beastly nobles? Where do you come from?” Dhavihal calls me back to reality shaking me from my musings, I frown, I don’t know what to tell him, I want to be honest but I can’t rightly say where I’m from, they’ll think I’m crazy. 

“I’ve lived in the Hinterlands all my life… I moved around settling in different places for a while, I was about to move on actually…” Only a partial lie, I was thinking about leaving soon just to explore awhile. “But they found me sleeping in the snow, and tied me up while I was sleeping and brought me here,” I can’t help but snarl angrily at the memory. A few elves in the background startle. I can smell the fear and I cringe. “I really hope I don’t get you guy in trouble…”

Dhavihal seems satisfied by my answer and sits down on the ground near me, legs crossed. He unties my wrists and I rub at the raw skin gently, a soft sigh escaping my lips. “Are you an elf, da’len? I’ve never seen anyone with a pattern on their skin like you, nor such sharp teeth. But those ears and the shining eyes you must be somehow like us.”

I grimace at being called young, but I do look it I suppose, always have, I still get ID’d sometimes! It’s funny. Or… It was… “I don’t really know what I am, hahren… I just know I’m me.” 

“Your name is in the People’s language and you clearly know a few words, who raised you?” He asks I hate all these questions, I don’t wanna lie but there is no truth I can give. I frown deeply. “I don’t remember… It hurts to think about it, makes my head spin…” I touch my hand to my head and squeeze my eyes shut, clenching my eyes in pain, God I hope that’s believable. He rests a palm on my shoulder comfortingly and I flinch slightly and he removes his hand. “It is alright da’len.”

I sigh quietly and rub my temples. “Why are you all here? Are you slaves?” That’d be strange we’re not nearly close enough to Tevinter for that to be remotely legal, but they mentioned Nobles and we’re in a remote area, it wouldn’t be difficult to at the very least hide these guys away from officials. They’re also elves so no one probably cared anyway. I frown deeply.

Dhavihal sighs. “Not technically but we are trapped here… The Hinterlands are vast, if we tried to escape we’d perish in the wilderness, whether from the cold or from creatures… And I have a responsibility to the little ones here, they definitely wouldn’t make it.” 

“Ghastly.” I murmur, untying my feet so I can stand, I offer my hand to help Dhav stand. The cogs in my mind begin to turn as I begin to formulate a plan. The elder takes my hand gratefully and doesn’t say a word as I curl up in my furs in the furthest corner from the elves. Atisha stays up all night watching me. And I stay up most of the night planning.

\------------------------------------------------

I awaken the next morning with a harsh boot to the ribs and a shout. I cry out in pain and bolt up. “Filthy creature! Get up! Get up!” It’s one of the men from before, not Calder one of the other ones, West or something I don’t remember. I snarl and get to my feet, wrapped in the furs and scowling, at my full height I tower of the man, he doesn’t shrink under my imposing figure, he roughly applies shackles to my wrists and leads me from the cellar.

People have gathered around the entrance to titter and stare, I snap at them and receive a rough punch for my troubles, I snarl, it’s easy to slip into something more primal when that’s what people want from you, I’m more afraid of being groomed to be a doll or plaything then viewed as a beast. 

I’m lead to a… Mansion I suppose is the best way to describe it… A big house really! Calder is sitting in the foyer, his hands aren’t steepled like a cheesy villain, he’s not sitting imposingly, he’s just… There… I’m pushed hard on to the ground before his feet and I keep myself from rolling my eyes. 

“Welcome to my ‘ome, ‘eathen…” He says, he stands before me, I think he’s trying to be more of a tough guy or something, seem bigger than me because I’m so… Big. “We ‘ad a discussion, me an’ the boys did about yer fate… Ya seem tha strong sort, like you’d be best put to work than killed… And it’s legal to keep beasts without pay, so we’ve got a nice loophole if anyone comes a knocking…” He seems to take some sick sort of pleasure from this, I snarl and snap my teeth and try to push myself off the ground and I’m kicked back down with a whine. Bastards.

He says some other things but, to be honest with you, pain is pretty good at helping you ignore bullfuckery. I probably have internal bleeding, I think somewhat dazed. I'm forced to my feet again, and drug from the house, they really like man-handling me.

\-----------------------------------------------

 

I've learned that this is an unofficial settlement started by nobles. The elves were legally hired, at first. Then it went downhill because humans suck. It's kind of like a retreat nobles come here to hunt and revel, it's hedonistic at best, downright perverted at worst. I catch lecherous gazes on me at times, they don't dare act on it. I think they're afraid of my teeth. I spend a lot of time watching. It’s been months now, I watch the elves, the nobles and their treatment of their servants. I use the word loosely of course… Elves return to their cellar at night bruised and battered; I never catch a Noble in the act but if I ever did there would be hell to pay. I also know they do more unsavoury things to the younger ones, I hear the whispers at night, the quiet sobbing. I clench my knuckles white in disgust. Elves are people too. They don’t deserve this abysmal treatment. When I get the chance to do something about it there will be Hell to pay.

Work isn't too bad, to be honest, I do various things, sometimes I help take care of the livestock, or hunt with Atisha. They have me clean out the privy frequently which is the worst job of them all but I've been secretly using lye I've been making to sanitize everything. It's surprisingly easy to sneak away to do what I need, one person escaping from this place wouldn't be hard at all, getting them all out is infinitely harder simply because gathering enough supplies would be a challenge. They don't have a single guard following me around either, maybe it's their own hubris or they think they have me cowed. I’m only remotely submitting so I can get these elves out of here. Oh well. I'm behaving. Mostly. 

Hunting with Atisha is kind of annoying, mainly because she hates me and doesn't trust me as far as she can throw me. I try my best not to antagonize her but she doesn't like the way I do anything, from the way I walk from the primal way I take down kills. We're silent most of the time, she'll occasionally ask me questions, subtle but probing, I answer as honestly as possible. She mostly spends our two hours together criticizing me. She seems to hate me a little less every day. Not by much but progress is progress. 

“You still show up. Every morning you still show up. Why?” She finally asks me. 

I stare at her blankly, sharp eyes dead. “Do you really think that badly of me after all this time? I wouldn’t allow innocent people to starve just because you don’t like or trust me. You are an efficient hunter. A great hunter. But it’s easier for two people to catch enough food for two dozen elves rather than one. I’m not a demon, Atisha, I’m not a monster. I just want to be helpful.”

She is quiet for a beat. “I… Have noticed the way you’ll stand in the way of those shem’ bastards if one of us makes a mistake… You don’t even have to do that…” She frowns slightly, and looks at me and it almost seems like she’s really seeing me for the first time. “I appreciate-” It sounds like she’s spitting out nails rather than words, it clearly is hard for her to do this. “-that you continue to help us despite our lack of trust.” She kicks the ground, looks away and stalks off to go hunting, I smile wryly as she moves away deeper into the woods.

\----------------------  
The next time we go hunting we walk together. “So how did you end up here?” I ask, as I tromp along the path, The winter snow has melted away leaving short green shoots.

She looks at me sharply a quiet sadness in her eyes. “Why do you want to know?” 

I shrug. “Stuck here. Mind as well learn about some people.”

“My sister…” She starts, takes a deep shaky breath and then continues. “My sister Ailana Was hired but she never returned. I came looking to find her, she begged me to leave. I realized how terrible it was here and I tried to help escape. They caught us. They snapped her neck and then forced me to take her place.” Atisha is shaking slightly a single tear rolls down her cheek. I place a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Since that day I have wanted nothing more than to see this place burn.” She admits quietly as we walk down the usual path.  
\-------------------------------

Interactions with Dhavihal are always weird, one minute he’s a soft old man, the next he’s a hard presence, imposing and intimidating. Iron fist, velvet glove. It’s obvious I’m different. My jokes. My mannerisms. He sees it but rarely asks. I’m grateful for that. Dhav has been becoming softer lately, different than Atisha, but still softer. He asks me how I’m doing or if I need anything and I bring him elf root when I notice he’s hurting from age. The questions are more nonchalant than probing, easier to answer, I don’t care much for playing games, I’ve never been good at being sly or sneaky, my deflection attempts are poor at best, suspicious at worst, he takes it in stride. When I’m asked where I’m from I’m vague on purpose.

“Hale’amelan. Who gave you your name?

The other elves stand near me, let me eat near them. I like it better than sitting alone. I ask them about themselves, sometimes I’ll help chop wood. We’re given a surprising amount of free reign to do what we need to do for survival. 

It’s late one night just before curfew, I’m sitting curled in my furs as a young elf stumbles towards Dhav, eyes full of tears and face covered in bruises. A large gash splits her cheek, I approach slowly keeping my movements submissive. I bring with me some left over elfroot salve I had pinched the other day from some nobleman’s wife. It wasn’t a lot but I had planned on using it on the cracked skin of my feet. Dhav takes it from me with a grateful smile. “Thank you,” He says and I scamper away sheepishly. If this were a video I’d see some text that says “Dhav greatly approves.” Or like “The elves will remember this.”

The majority of the elves are still apprehensive of me, that’s fine. The keep their children at a distance but the mother of the elven girl I helped has been leaving me bracelets of weaved herbs that seem have medical use if simply sucked on. Spit salves always grossed me out but they have their uses. It’s nice to think they’re starting to trust me.

I’m still absolutely furious that these men think they can treat these people like this, they beat me around because I let them. Keeps the attention away from my fellow slaves. I’m not certain how much longer I can tolerate and be ignorant of these idiots.  
\----------  
When it happens, I don't take time to think, an armour clad noble is about to slam a young elven child for dropping his package, I snatch his wrist and crush in my grip his armour creaks and he shouts loudly from the pain. I'm sent to the ground quite roughly with a punch from Afton who tends to tail me occasionally to make sure I'm behaving. "Maker, look at his armour, her fingers made dents!" A bystander shouts. As I hit the ground I watch the elven child run off to the safety of some older elves. "Have her whipped!" I hear someone cry, Excuse me? "Yea! It needs to be punished!" There's a lot of angry screaming, I climb to my feet, vision swimming as I feel the primal part thrash against my logical brain, I squeeze his wrist harder and hear the sickening crunch of bone, a primordial satisfaction overtaking me as I grin savagely. I whip the man to the ground and he crumples, dazed from the pain, shouting as he collapses in the dirt. Another guard, Afton I remember belatedly rushes me with a long sword, swings it at me, it’s too slow and I’ve already dodged grabbing his arm and twisting sending him to the ground I pounce tear out his throat and rise, crouched like a beast, blue sparks flicker in my mouth as I snarl, it’s the first time in awhile that I’ve felt a chill as the sparks crackle, I breathe hard pushing something from my chest area, it feels like an eruption of frost, it feels right, The cold fire pushes forward from my mouth and destroys the nobleman coming towards me attempting, in the back of my mind, my logical side whispers of the consequences of my actions, the elves will surely fear you now that you’ve demonstrated your power. But the current side of my brain that was in control just screamed and gnashed it’s teeth, throwing caution to the wind. The cold fire still burned like normal flame, it was just stranger. I took down assailant after assailant. No one could hold me off.

I rip through the town, flames inadvertently spreading from house to house, I vaguely remember Dhav telling the elves to gather some supplies and prepare for evacuation. I must find the bastard, Calder.

I break down his door with a kick. It’s easy, the door shatters and I enter the building. “Who’s there? Afton?” The idiot calls, “Was me door knocked down again?Andraste's tits man are you pissed again?” I follow his voice, he’s in the sitting room, I’m naked, covered in blood and ash. “Wot- Oh. you Bitch!” He grabs his sword from his hip and stands facing me. I snarl at him and charge at him, too impatient. I tackle him and he hits the ground, I bite his throat and my teeth slip through the skin with ease. Calder makes gurgly choking sounds as he thrashes weakly under me, his blood filling my mouth as he tries to lift his sword to fend me off. Human blood is disgusting and I don’t recommend it, he dies slowly. I spit his blood out and stand. Whoever I didn’t kill didn’t matter, they are all guilty in my eyes the fire may burn them.

\--

They didn’t get far- I didn’t expect them to, it hadn’t been long. When I show myself, I regret it immediately. Atisha raises her bow. “Get back you bastard! You bloody fucking monster!” My primal side flares up but I push it back down. I raise my hands in surrender, I’m still bloody and ashy. I’m sure I look a sight. Ring of crimson around my mouth blood matted curls.I look more beast than ever. “Dhav! It’s back!” The elder parts the small crowd of elves to stand beside the huntress, his mouth is drawn in a tight line. “You had us really fooled. Made us think you were someone to be trusted. An actual person. You’re just a simple beast aren’t you?” The typically kindly man’s voice is hard. My eyes flash and then narrow, I wipe the blood from my face with the back of my wrist. “I didn’t hurt your people, in fact I tried to fucking help them. I get we’re not on good terms but I wasn’t about to let a child get smacked with a fucking gauntlet!”

Dhavihal’s face twitches in irritation, Atisha is positively fuming, she speaks next. “Because of your stupid behaviour we’re going to freeze to death you stupid beast! We have children who will freeze! It was awful back at the retreat but at least we were safe from the dangers of nature!” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I crossed my arms, “Do you think I’d do something like that and just leave you to die in the wilderness. I killed the humans, I burned their settlement. But in the months I wandered these woods I found places that can temporarily house us- or at the very least you- There’s a cave, 2 days walk to the east of here, it’s heated by a natural hot spring so it’s- get this- warm.” 

Dhav’s expression softens slightly, but Atisha doesn’t lower her bow, “Why should we trust you!?”

”Why shouldn’t you? I was nothing but civil with you and your people for months! I allowed you to isolate me and interrogate me! Poke and prod at my past until you were satisfied. I get it, I killed some shitty humans, killed some deer, whatever! The deer were for food! The people were treating you like shit.”

There’s a quiet murmuring throughout the crowd. Dhavihal sighed and nodded. “Okay, Hale’amalen, we give you this chance,” Quite frankly the fact they’re still holding me at arms length bugged me immensely, but it’s fine for now I did just murder a village full of humans. I feel no remorse strangely. Just the odd feeling of satisfaction, which freaks me out. My time in the military didn’t prepare me to kill, I never actually saw battle… So this was a little unsettling. Why don’t I feel bad? They were terrible yes but that was such a grand loss of life. I feel terrible for not feeling terrible. Maybe I am a demon or monster. To kill without remorse… I feel like I want to cry.

 

My hands shake slightly as I stare down the Huntress. Atisha begrudgingly puts her bow down, as we walk, I trail far behind just listening. The only time I’m acknowledged is when Dhav asks me if we’re still moving in the right direction. The elves talk quietly, parents to children both young and old. I watch as we walk, a few elves wander off to inspect a group of plants, plucking some then jogging and giggling to keep up. They’re young, I don’t think the severity of it he situation has sunk in yet. We stop when it’s dark, they start a fire and cooked the foraged plants that managed to push through the snow, they make soup I curl up far away from the congregation of elves. 

They eat and talk and laugh for hours, I just watch, just listen like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review and kudos it really encourages me to keep writing.

**Author's Note:**

> whaddup it's a cliche ending to a chapter, i'll be updating again next week probably!


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